The Impact of Stuttering
Everyone stutters. I sometimes struggle to start a sentence as I think of what I am going to say. At other times, I may repeat a word several times when it is hard to pronounce. It is a very natural part of speaking, and hardly bothers me nor most people.
However, some people may stutter so much that they cannot complete what they wanted to say. Not just occasionally, but frequently. As found by a research by the University of Sydney, there is a strong correlation between stuttering and anxiety. In some cases, stuttering can affect a person’s self-esteem and invoke a sense of shame and anxiety in situations where he has to talk.
For children, who are just developing their own self-identity, this condition can shatter their fragile ego. So if you are concerned about your child’s fluency, seek professional help early to manage this condition before it affects other areas of his life.
How Parents Can Help with Stuttering at Home
Based on the Demand and Capacity model proposed by Starkweather, stuttering occurs when environment, social and cognitive demands outweigh the child’s ability to produce fluent speech. A study conducted in the Netherlands on children, supported this theory with findings which showed a reduction in stuttering when extrinsic demands were reduced.
Although active treatment for stuttering should be administered by a speech therapist, additional strategies can be implemented by parents at home to improve their child’s stuttering through reducing environmental demands.
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Reduce time pressure
In our hectic pace of life, we often try to get things done as quickly as possible. So imagine the pressure of having to talk quickly. When pressed to say what you need to as fast as you can, you can trip over your words, struggle to think of what you are going to say, or just come up with a blank. Now imagine it for our children with stuttering.
#1: Slow down your rate of talking
We, humans have a funny tendency of imitating our conversation partners. As your partner talks faster, you might find yourself hastening to catch up, eventually speaking faster and faster.
Therefore, to lower the stress on time, model speaking at a slower and calm pace. A good rule of thumb is to slow down your speed to your child’s when he is speaking fluently. This allows him to speak at a speed where he is unlikely to stutter.
#2: Match your speaking turns to your child
If your conversation partner is dominating the conversation with a whole barrage of word, you might have to speak fast to get something in. Therefore, try not to dominate the whole conversation. Match the length of your conversation turn to how long your child’s is. Insert generous pauses between each turn to keep the conversation relaxing for your child.
In addition, try not to interrupt your child when he is talking, and also let your child know not to interrupt yours by holding up your fingers to signal for him to wait for his turn. This creates an unhurried talking environment for everyone.
#3: Avoid asking too many questions
Parents often fall into the trap of asking questions, and in some cases, asking too many questions. Try to pace your question. Ask one question, wait for the response, then ask the next question.
When you bombard your child with so many questions at one time, it adds too much cognitive load. In addition, it creates the added pressure of answering everything at once, which can trip him up.
In addition, questions that quiz a child’s knowledge can give the added pressure of testing.
#4: Choose the time and place to talk
Whenever possible, save the chats for when you are not rushing to get everyone ready for school or trying to catch an appointment. Talking during a rush can be stress provoking and make your child more likely to stutter.
Wait for a time when you have the luxury of time to hold your conversation; When you are waiting in line at the supermarket, or when everyone is having a leisurely dinner, or when you child is cuddled up comfortably in bed. This allows for a more deep and meaningful conversation, without any distractions.
Check Yourself
A child’s self-view can be affected by what others view of him. So if you are secretly worried about her stuttering, or is plagued by some sense of guilt, know that it is not helpful to harbour these kind of thoughts.
This is because when you hold these views in your mind, you are projecting them in your interaction with her, whether or not you say it out loud. This has the effect of making your child feel bad about her stuttering, which can sometimes make things worse.
Always remember that you are seeking help, and are doing everything you can to help him. Beyond that, there is no point worrying about things that are out of your control.
#5: Adopt a positive mindset
The first place to start is to change your mindset. There are some things that children can do well and some that they don’t do as well. Just like your child may take a longer time to ride a bike, he may be taking a longer time to learn to talk fluently. With time and effort, his stuttering can get better.
#6: Note your verbal behaviour
When children stutter, well-meaning others may jump in and offer advice like “slow down”, “take a deep breath” or “take your time”. Despite their good intentions, these only serves to draw attention to the child’s stuttering, making him feel ashamed and anxious.
Therefore, avoid comments like these. Stay calm and neutral and focus on the message that your child has to say. This let him know that his message is more important to you than how he says it.
#7: Note your non-verbal Behaviour
Remember how I said that your negative feelings can be sensed by your child even if you don’t verbalised it? These negative state of minds are projected in the forms of frowns, looking away, twitching your mouth, or even the sorry look in your eyes. So next time your child stutter, try to check yourself to see if you might be projecting these feelings outwards.
Be your child’s advocate
#8: Educate Others About and How to Help
Make sure to educate people around you to use the strategies above. Also become an advocate and explain to other children (and some adults) not to tease and make fun of his stuttering.
Help them understand that your child is trying his best and seek their patience to give him more time to speak. Talk to teachers and tell them how you would like them to respond when your child is not speaking fluently.
When you do that, it helps to create an environment where your child feels safe to talk and be himself.
Avoid Failure Traps
Repeated failure can defeat anyone. One common pitfall is that a person may become stuck thinking, “I’m never going to get better”. Therefore, we want to reduce your child’s chances of failure, by reducing demands to talk on off days, while noticing their smooth talking on good days.
#9: Reduce Conversations on bad days
Some days are worse than others, with your child stuttering more than usual. Unfortunately, we wake up on the wrong side of bed sometimes. Therefore, on such days, reduce your conversational demands on him because you don’t want him to experience even more failures.
Do note though, this doesn’t mean that you should ignoring him, but rather it is for you to be quietly supportive through pats on the shoulder, hugs and affirming looks.
#10: Avoid anxiety provoking situations
If your child is uncomfortable standing and speaking or reading out loud, don’t force him to do it. Making him go through these situations can make him stutter more, and also shame him in front of others. Set these situations aside until the time when he can speak more fluently or when he is ready.
Conclusion
Stuttering is not a life-sentence. With therapy and parents’ relentless support, stuttering can get better. By changing yourself and your child’s environment, you can help him to stutter less. As he gains a sense of control over his stuttering, it will boost his confidence and ability to talk fluently.
Most importantly, if you are worried about your child’s fluency, seek the advice of a professional speech therapist. Then combine that with strategies at home to help reduce his likelihood of stuttering. Every little step you take today will help shape him into a more fluent and confident communicator.
Do you have other strategies to help children with stuttering? Share them in the comments below.