Why are Pronouns So Difficult to Teach?
Pronouns by nature are abstract. Compared to words like “banana” or “car” which the child can see and touch, pronouns have no form nor shape.
There’s nothing that you can hold up and tell your child “This is an ‘I’ or ‘You'”. Instead, your child will have to learn from seeing how it is used, and try to apply it in his own speech.
To make matters worse, pronouns like “I”, “Me” and “You” are also not consistent. They change based on who is talking. For children with language delays, this makes it even more confusing.
Pronouns Acquisition Milestones
Approximate Age of Acquisition:
12-26 months – I, it
27-30 months – me, my, mine, you
31-34 months – your, she, he, yours, we
35-40 months – they, us, her, his, them, her
41-46 months – its, our, him, myself, yourself, ours, their, theirs
47+ months – herself, himself, itself, ourselves, yourselves, themselves
Sources: Adapted from Haas & Owens (1985); Huxley (1970); Morehead & Ingram (1973); Waterman & Schatz (1982); and Wells (1985).
Some Strategies to Teach Pronouns
Using physical Cues
Since the use of pronouns like “I”, “Me” and “You” depend on who is talking, it is important to make it clear who is speaking. To do so, pair it with a physical cue. This helps the child understand that you are providing a model from his point of view, and not saying it from your point of view.
Therefore, if your child wants a car for example, you can use his little hands to pat his chest as you model “I want the car”.
When you are speaking for yourself, use your own hand to pat your chest and say “I like ice cream”, for example.
For some children, this level of cueing may not be enough. If children continue to stumble, I might even add names. For example, I might say “I, Jia, wants a cookie”. The use of names makes it clear whose perspective I am taking.
Teach one pronoun at a time
It might seem intuitive to teach “you” and “I”/“me” at the same time to provide contrast. However, this may be too confusing for some children. For these children, it is best to introduce a new pronouns only after the child has mastered the previous one.
Provide lots of models
Children learn by watching their parents. So even though using words like “Mommy wants a hug” can be appropriate for younger children, doing so will deprive your child of hearing the correct model of “I want a hug”. A child has to hear a word many times before they can finally learn it. So make sure to model the correct usage in every day activities.
Say it as he should
This is especially relevant for children who are echolalic, or who tends to repeat what they hear. Echolalia children may say “Do you want a hug?” when he wants you to hug him or “Do you want some water?” if he needs a drink. A child like this has assigned meaning to the entire phrase, without regards to the meaning of individual words.
For this kind of children, you might want to “say it as he should”. So instead of asking him “Do you want a hug?”, try “I want a hug”. Or if he needs a drink, model, “I want some water”.
This is challenging as our tendency is to speak from our perspective. Even I trip up some times. However, it helps tremendously with echolalic children who have strengths in their memory and in learning things as a whole.
Some Activities to Teach Pronouns
Here are some strategies that I have found to work for teaching pronouns.
I
This activity comes from one of my favourite speech therapists, Laura Mize. Prepare a favourite snack for the child. It will work great if there’s someone else like a child, a babysitter or a grandparent who can be around to provide the model.
Hold up the snack and excitedly ask “Who wants cookies?”. The other people around would chime in “I do!” and hopefully this model is enough for your child. If not, model “I do” while using the physical cue, before giving the treat to him. Do this several times, and it won’t be long before he learns the magic word.
I vs You
One game I like playing with children is the microphone game. The mic provides a clue as to whose point of view I am speaking from.
I’d hold a toy mic, and say things like “My name is Jia. I like ice cream. I like to play the piano” for example.
Then I will pass it to a soft toy, and I’d pretend to be the soft toy. I’d say something using an animated voice like “My name is Pooh. I like honey. I like to play hide and seek”.
Finally, I’d then pass the mic to the child, and let the child have a go at self-introduction, providing models along with physical cues to help him with the pronouns. Taking turns like this provides modelling for the child, so he can see how the various pronouns are used.
For children with more profound delays, we might have to stick with one pronoun for a while. But for children who are able to master this, I might up the ante.
I’d hold on to the mic and point animately at the soft toy and say “What do YOU like to drink?” with an emphasis on you. Then I’ll “pass” the mic to the soft toy and say “I like to drink orange juice”. Next I’d pass the mic to the child, and encourage the child to ask a question to the soft toy. “What books do YOU like to read?” and so on and so forth.
My vs Your
Play a sorting game. Gather various items belonging to you and your child. Items of clothing are good as the obvious size difference gives a clue as to whom it belongs to. So you can try holding up your pair of shoes, and then ask “Whose shoes are these?” and model for your child “Your shoes” while helping him to point to you. Then place items which belong to you in your basket.
Carry on with the rest of the clothing items.
Me vs You
Gather photographs of you and your child. Then sit down together to look through them. Point to an image of him, and ask “Who’s that?” and model for him “Me” while helping him to pat his chest.
Then point to a photo of yourself, and ask him “Who’s that?” and model “You” while helping him to pat your chest.
Conclusion
Even though pronouns are tricky to teach, there are many different ways to teach it. What other games or ideas do you have? Share them below!
