You are doing everything you can to get eye contact from your child. You put your face right in front of his little face. You wave and clap. But when he finally glances up, he seems to look right through you. Sounds familiar?
Why Eye Contact is Difficult
Children on the autism spectrum often have a hard time making eye contact. Those who have become verbal explained that the experience is so overwhelming for them because they have trouble making sense of the emotions in another’s eye.
In addition, some children on the spectrum also have a preference for using their peripheral vision. This means that they may turn their head away from you when you are speaking to them, so that they can look at you from the side.
And then there are other children who have difficulties processing both audio and visual inputs at the same time. As Temple Grandin says “I can look at you, or listen to you. But not both”. Therefore, they may focus on a person’s mouth to understand what they are saying while avoiding their gaze.
These are just some of the possible reasons for why it is difficult for children with autism to make eye contact. Because forcing them to do so can be unsettling for these kids, it is always better to let them choose to do so.
But how can we make eye contact enticing for our little friends?
Here are some tips that I have gathered through experience, and from other speech therapist colleagues.
To help me remember the strategies, I’d imagine hearing the loud sound “SPLAT”. That is sure to grab our attention! So think SPLAT if you want your child to look!
How to improve Eye Contact
Secret #1: Simple Language
Researchers from Kyoto University has found that “people break away from another’s gaze in order to not overload their brain”.
Since some children have difficulties processing language and looking at the same time, we can make their task easier if we use less words. This takes their effort off trying to make sense of what we are saying so that they can look at us more.
Secret #2: Position
Since it is easier for children to look downwards, we should always try to position ourselves such that we are in front of the child and, at or below eye level. This means that we can lie down in front of the child if he is playing on the floor. Or we can place him on a couch, while we sit on the floor. When you make it easier for him to catch your eyes, your child has less reasons not to make eye contact.
Secret #3: Lift things up
Another way to improve eye contact is to hold things up to our eye-level. This would make it easier for a child to flick a glance at us as he reaches out for the desired object.
Secret #4: Animated
One way to make our faces more compelling is to make it look more animated. You can do so by heightening your affect, and exaggerating your expressions. You know those over-the-top expressions that comedians use? You never have any doubts about how they are feeling do you? Then that’s the look you should go for.
To add to the punch, you can also use props like silly glasses with a moving moustache or try to wear a funny hat.
Secret #5: Time to Respond
Research has also found waiting to be effective in improving eye contact. When you hold up the object, do not immediately hand it to him. Wait for your child to look at you before handing it over. This helps to reward his effort for looking.
Conclusion
Through our experience as practising speech therapists, we have found that children tends to look at us more when they do so out of their own volition. By taking the pressure off of them, it makes the session more enjoyable for everyone without compromising the goal. How’s that for win-win?
Do you have other tricks to get more eye contact? Share them below!
